I'm I losing myself?

Our school has been using Eminem's Lose Yourself as a them song. 

"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity...to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment...would you capture it or just let it slip away."

Last year was a rough year.  I wasn't homesick, but there was a LOT to adjust to here.  I had to work with all new people.  I was in a school system completely different than what I was accustomed to.  Mumbai was so different than Houston!  I had never worked in a school with so much technology and I had never coached Math Counts.  I learned a hundred new things last year that made me a better teacher.  

I had to adjust to a lot of new things and ended up losing some of myself.  I'm a pretty simple person :)  I didn't need a lot to occupy my free time.  I walked in the evenings and just soaked in the Texas sun.  I trained to run half marathons and full marathons and spent hours a week running with friends.  I'd go to Karin and Brendon's and play with the girls.  Occasionally I'd go to a movie or a concert.  that's it. That's really all I needed to be content.  

Obviously Karin and the girls aren't here.  I didn't have anyone to run with and walking is not relaxing here.  so the things that made me feel peace weren't in place.  It was really hard to make friends.  International teachers are generally worldly people.  They go out a lot, drink a lot, travel a lot, and embrace religious celebrations where ever they are.  I had friends that I could go shopping with or to the movies with, but no one to really talk to about things.  As a believer it was important to have people who share the same values as I do.  and I wasn't finding that.  I was really lonely.  I'm not a crier, but my teaching partner had to deal with a lot of tears from me!!!  

This year, I feel like I have a better grip on school stuff so I knew I needed to work on finding myself again.  A really sweet teacher invited me to join a women's group - About 5 women believers are going to meet every week  - we aren't really sure what it is going to build into, but right now we are just focussing on doing something fun together, praying for each other, and just intentionally getting to know each other.  I'm working on getting running back in my life.  training by myself is really hard.  Traveling international to do races is expensive and time consuming, but I am realizing it is really important to my well-being.  I'm intentionally picking small group things to do that is more conducive to my personality.  Will (our math intern) and Pauline (French teacher)  invited my teaching partner, Jordan, and I over to play this new game they got - civilization.  We spent over 5 hours playing it Saturday and it was one of the best afternoons I'd had in a long time.  It was low key and a lot of fun.  I need a lot more afternoons like that :)

We've been back just three weeks and people have notice that I am a lot more centered.  I haven't cried at all!!  and I feel ready to take on more of the math department responsibilities.  I feel a lot more like myself and hope I will be able to be a better friend this year.  God has definitely given me the gift of service - I like to help people and care a lot of how people are, but that kind of got put on the back burner last year because I was trying to keep from drowning! Now I can tread water and feel like I can help others do the same!

I'm beginning to lose myself in another way - 6 pounds down in three week :)  a lot more to go!!!

Starting my 2nd year at ASB

 It was very different coming to Mumbai this year!  I wasn't new!!  I knew what to expect and India wasn't as intimidating.  My apartment was in good shape when I got back - no mold! Jessie, my helper, had food waiting for me and everything was ship shape.

Our school went under major construction and things weren't quite as ready as we had expected.  The last week has been a lesson in patience and flexibility.  We were trying to get things ready for kids while tons of Indian workers were still trying to do construction.  Each day we would come to school and see improvement - ceilings finished, walls painted, boxes moved, shelves put in, etc.  My room is in pretty good shape.  Once all the furniture gets there and I can organize supplies, it will be great!

That white board is being taken away because apparently it belongs to the elementary school :(  but I will get one someday.

 Those white board/glass doors slide and open into Jordan's classroom. We are teaching one really big 8th grade class and we'll open the doors and spread out to differentiate.

The window by the desk overlooks the area where the construction workers are living.  They sleep outside right by the piles of plywood and other materials they are using to build.  The other day as i was sorting out materials I saw some shirtless men with their hands downs their pants scratching their crotch like Indian men do.  I was thinking that might be a little distracting to my sixth graders.  I didn't say anything about it until yesterday.  I had my back to the window and the friend that was talking to me said "that guy doesn't have pants on"  HA!  I would see different things when I looked out - sometimes they were working, sometimes laying on the wood with their legs splayed out oh so attractively, sometimes sleeping, sometimes scratching and shirtless and/or pantsless.  I don't know when we'll get blinds on the windows.  I was just going to put some math posters over the two windows that are the most problem, BUT our poster container is one of the supply boxes that we are missing!  so I had to talk to my principal and they are going to put paper over it to start the year.

These doors open in the middle school commons - big open space for kids to work. 

I'll take more picture of the new middle school when I can. 

I have definitely changed!  Karen, who lives in my building and has been doing this international teaching thing a long time said she was so proud of me.  This time last year, she was taking me out and buying me a brownie because I was having a meltdown!  Going to the MAET program this year definitely helped.  Last year I had no idea about technology.  People would talk and I wouldn't understand any words coming out of their mouths! I'm definitely no expert, but I am actually helping people with technology things.  Showing them shortcuts on the mac, giving them ideas of tech tools to use etc.  Today the other math teachers were having an in depth conversation about a very cool tech thing - Apple TV.  I told Will that I understood about 3/4 of the conversation!  last year, my eyes would have glazed over and I would have been near tears because I didn't understand anything.  

um. yeah.  there are mosquitos.  You can't see how swollen my feet are, but there is one bite on each foot.  I covered them in calamine and that helped the pain some.