I'm I losing myself?

Our school has been using Eminem's Lose Yourself as a them song. 

"Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity...to seize everything you ever wanted in one moment...would you capture it or just let it slip away."

Last year was a rough year.  I wasn't homesick, but there was a LOT to adjust to here.  I had to work with all new people.  I was in a school system completely different than what I was accustomed to.  Mumbai was so different than Houston!  I had never worked in a school with so much technology and I had never coached Math Counts.  I learned a hundred new things last year that made me a better teacher.  

I had to adjust to a lot of new things and ended up losing some of myself.  I'm a pretty simple person :)  I didn't need a lot to occupy my free time.  I walked in the evenings and just soaked in the Texas sun.  I trained to run half marathons and full marathons and spent hours a week running with friends.  I'd go to Karin and Brendon's and play with the girls.  Occasionally I'd go to a movie or a concert.  that's it. That's really all I needed to be content.  

Obviously Karin and the girls aren't here.  I didn't have anyone to run with and walking is not relaxing here.  so the things that made me feel peace weren't in place.  It was really hard to make friends.  International teachers are generally worldly people.  They go out a lot, drink a lot, travel a lot, and embrace religious celebrations where ever they are.  I had friends that I could go shopping with or to the movies with, but no one to really talk to about things.  As a believer it was important to have people who share the same values as I do.  and I wasn't finding that.  I was really lonely.  I'm not a crier, but my teaching partner had to deal with a lot of tears from me!!!  

This year, I feel like I have a better grip on school stuff so I knew I needed to work on finding myself again.  A really sweet teacher invited me to join a women's group - About 5 women believers are going to meet every week  - we aren't really sure what it is going to build into, but right now we are just focussing on doing something fun together, praying for each other, and just intentionally getting to know each other.  I'm working on getting running back in my life.  training by myself is really hard.  Traveling international to do races is expensive and time consuming, but I am realizing it is really important to my well-being.  I'm intentionally picking small group things to do that is more conducive to my personality.  Will (our math intern) and Pauline (French teacher)  invited my teaching partner, Jordan, and I over to play this new game they got - civilization.  We spent over 5 hours playing it Saturday and it was one of the best afternoons I'd had in a long time.  It was low key and a lot of fun.  I need a lot more afternoons like that :)

We've been back just three weeks and people have notice that I am a lot more centered.  I haven't cried at all!!  and I feel ready to take on more of the math department responsibilities.  I feel a lot more like myself and hope I will be able to be a better friend this year.  God has definitely given me the gift of service - I like to help people and care a lot of how people are, but that kind of got put on the back burner last year because I was trying to keep from drowning! Now I can tread water and feel like I can help others do the same!

I'm beginning to lose myself in another way - 6 pounds down in three week :)  a lot more to go!!!