Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Life with Mortimer

In November, my shoulder started hurting when I woke up and sometimes during the day.  I have Lupus and Sjogrens though so I am used to all kinds of weird aches and pains.  I was careful with it, but kept doing my normal activities.  I went to the gym and did my normal arm weights with Nilendra.  I would make sure to reach really carefully for the weights, then I could lift them no problem.  I went home for Christmas and my shoulder bothered me and I remember one painful experience when I was dancing with Charlotte and Natalie to Taylor Swift's "Shake it off".  When I got back to India, Nilendra went on vacation and five weeks passed without me going to the gym and my shoulder got worse.  By the end of February, I was in agony and could barely move my left arm.

I went to the physical therapist and they diagnosed me with a frozen shoulder.  I had never heard of it before, but I now know of multiple people that have had one.  It takes 12 to 36 months to recover!!  I thought they were exaggerating!  But the process has been slow.  X-rays showed that my shoulder was a little out of socket, but no known injury.  When I traveled to Croatia for spring break and I got bumped on the airplane and it hurt like heck, but I think it popped it into socket because it hurt less for a few days.  Then I had an encounter with a rough security person and it hurt again.

I could barely move my arm.  Getting dressed was time consuming, I couldn't shampoo my hair, or hold a plate in my left arm.  My kids and I decided I was like a T-rex.



During the month of March, I went to Physical Therapy twice a week and it hurt sooooo bad and I gained little mobility.  I started acupuncture in addition to my regular physio three times a week in April and I seemed to gain more mobility.   I still can't do normal things and it hurt horribly at night, but I allow my Physical Therapist, Ridi, to torture me in the hopes that I will someday get to use my arm normally again!

It has been a humbling experience.  I am trapped by the limitations of this new "disability".  I panicked at first, because all I could think of was when I was trapped in my body when my Lupus was at its worst.  I can't really do any exercise but walk, so I do it as much as I possible can.

The limits my shoulder has imposed on me for month is such a big entity that I gave it a name.  MORTIMER.    The kids ask how mortimer is doing every day.   Mortimer wakes me up in the middle of the night like a toddler.

I'm going home this summer and it is going to be hard to love on all the babies waiting for me in the US without full use of my arm.

I have to keep believing it WILL get better and I will run, swim etc. again some day.


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